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19 December 2008
18 December 2008
Faith in God's will and timing
So I realized something today: by trying to take matters into my own hands, I am defying the authority of God and demonstrating a lack of faith in His good and perfect will. It's one thing to confess with my mouth that I believe God has a wonderful plan for my life that will be enacted in His perfect timing, which is something I do profess when such a statement is appropriate to the conversational topic. It is quite another thing to back up such statements through the way I live my life. From examining my actions which consist of attempts to alter or tailor situations to fit my own agenda, I must question whether or not I truly believe that God knows best. I undoubtedly agree with the statement that actions speak louder than words, as is confirmed in the book of Hebrew by the author's statement that faith without actions is dead. If I agree with that statement then, by examining my past actions, my intellect tells me that I do not truly believe that God is and will continue to guide me on the most appropriate path for my life.
Don't get me wrong. I take the Bible at it's word when it declares that God is omnipotent. I don't question God's capability to do whatever He sees fit, despite impossible circumstances. Even the demons know the power of the Almighty. Also, I certainly believe that God is omniscient, knowing my past, present, future, and everything about who I am and who I was created to be. (After all, He created me.) So if I believe that God is omnipotent and omniscient, why then do my actions display otherwise? I think it is due to my trouble trusting that the plan and timing of God is the best. "Does God really know what He's doing? Aren't things taking a little long? Maybe God is too busy with something else. It wouldn't hurt if I helped move things along a bit, would it?" Those are the thoughts that start running through my mind, both consciously and subconsciously. That's when I know I'm on the path of defiance and destruction. What these thoughts really boil down to is a question of God's character and judgment- Does God really know and want what's best for me? Is His plan going to screw me over? What if I don't like God's plan? Is God ever going to actually follow through? I'm ashamed to admit such doubtful thoughts. The words of Jesus, "Oh ye of little faith," continually haunt me, because I know they apply to me. My faith is far smaller than a mustard seed.
Patience has always been one of my biggest struggles, if not the number one. I'm all about instant gratification: I want what I want, when I want it. I think as humans, we all innately have some of those selfish desires b/c we are a fallen race. It's whether or not we exercise self-control over those cravings that defines our strength and reveals one's true character. I have so much trouble not jumping in, trying to do things my own way at my own pace, as if I know better than God. Even if I do trust God's character and judgment, it takes a conscious, daily effort of examining my priorities and motives: "Am I do something to further my own agenda or God's?" I'm so quick to give others advice to be patient and trust God's plan, yet it is so difficult for me to apply that wisdom to my own life.
I think a person's faith that God will do what is best, not just that He can, is what really sets a true Christ follower apart from the rest of the world. If we truly believe that God will do what is best, we will have the desire and motivation to place our selfish priorities behind us and make the effort to follow God in everything, despite a grim outlook or costs to us. God's agenda will become our agenda; we will desire what He desires and therefore work to accomplish it. Pleasing God will be our joy and satisfaction. Truly, "the joy of the Lord [will be] my strength." He will empower His children to continue following Him on the path that leads to the ultimate fulfillment- a sincere, intimate relationship with Christ.
I want to get to the point where I have so much faith in God's plan that I'm willing to do or give anything for His kingdom. I long to be at a place in my life where consistently checking my motives is no longer necessary because seeking His will is so ingrained in my habits that it becomes second nature to me. I long for His desires to become my desires, and His joy to be my joy. I want to be so overcome with a passion to further His will that anything else seems ridiculous. I desire the authentic faith that Jesus instructed His disciples to have: the faith that gave sight to the blind man, mobility to the crippled, healing to the sick, and raised a ruler's daughter from the dead.
Don't get me wrong. I take the Bible at it's word when it declares that God is omnipotent. I don't question God's capability to do whatever He sees fit, despite impossible circumstances. Even the demons know the power of the Almighty. Also, I certainly believe that God is omniscient, knowing my past, present, future, and everything about who I am and who I was created to be. (After all, He created me.) So if I believe that God is omnipotent and omniscient, why then do my actions display otherwise? I think it is due to my trouble trusting that the plan and timing of God is the best. "Does God really know what He's doing? Aren't things taking a little long? Maybe God is too busy with something else. It wouldn't hurt if I helped move things along a bit, would it?" Those are the thoughts that start running through my mind, both consciously and subconsciously. That's when I know I'm on the path of defiance and destruction. What these thoughts really boil down to is a question of God's character and judgment- Does God really know and want what's best for me? Is His plan going to screw me over? What if I don't like God's plan? Is God ever going to actually follow through? I'm ashamed to admit such doubtful thoughts. The words of Jesus, "Oh ye of little faith," continually haunt me, because I know they apply to me. My faith is far smaller than a mustard seed.
Patience has always been one of my biggest struggles, if not the number one. I'm all about instant gratification: I want what I want, when I want it. I think as humans, we all innately have some of those selfish desires b/c we are a fallen race. It's whether or not we exercise self-control over those cravings that defines our strength and reveals one's true character. I have so much trouble not jumping in, trying to do things my own way at my own pace, as if I know better than God. Even if I do trust God's character and judgment, it takes a conscious, daily effort of examining my priorities and motives: "Am I do something to further my own agenda or God's?" I'm so quick to give others advice to be patient and trust God's plan, yet it is so difficult for me to apply that wisdom to my own life.
I think a person's faith that God will do what is best, not just that He can, is what really sets a true Christ follower apart from the rest of the world. If we truly believe that God will do what is best, we will have the desire and motivation to place our selfish priorities behind us and make the effort to follow God in everything, despite a grim outlook or costs to us. God's agenda will become our agenda; we will desire what He desires and therefore work to accomplish it. Pleasing God will be our joy and satisfaction. Truly, "the joy of the Lord [will be] my strength." He will empower His children to continue following Him on the path that leads to the ultimate fulfillment- a sincere, intimate relationship with Christ.
I want to get to the point where I have so much faith in God's plan that I'm willing to do or give anything for His kingdom. I long to be at a place in my life where consistently checking my motives is no longer necessary because seeking His will is so ingrained in my habits that it becomes second nature to me. I long for His desires to become my desires, and His joy to be my joy. I want to be so overcome with a passion to further His will that anything else seems ridiculous. I desire the authentic faith that Jesus instructed His disciples to have: the faith that gave sight to the blind man, mobility to the crippled, healing to the sick, and raised a ruler's daughter from the dead.
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